February 2012
3 posts
iceclimbers:
Lil Kim’s tour bus
The Saga of Lil Kim: Part Uno
blogneyspears:
It was the end of August and stores were holding huge back to school sales.
Lil Kim, on a broken Razor scooter, rushed to the nearest Staples to get a 5-pack of black sharpies for 99 cents, a 2 quart container of white out for 50 cents, and a 10 pack of scotch tape for $1.50.
After weeks without her basic makeup essentials, this was a necessary trip for the now proud owner of a...
Anonymous asked: OMG IS THIS BACK THANK GOD
January 2012
7 posts
ayolyric asked: lmfao these kim fans is salty as fuck!
Anonymous asked: pressed
Anonymous asked: I love nicki but lil kim has a bigger net worth than her js
Anonymous asked: lil kim was with biggie smalls. known to be the best classic hip hop artist next to tupac. nicki minaj is with "lil wayne". lil kim has amazing albums. nicki minaj, raps like a fucking idiot on crack. lil kim made nicki minaj, and nicki minaj started disrespecting lil kim and stealing her lyrics too, that's what made her do black friday. get your stories straight. lil kim is still...
4 tags
Lil' Kim v.s. Nicki Minaj round 2!
supreme—-monroe:
Nicki Minaj maybe double platinum but Lil’ Kim is a Grammy winner along with being one of the best rappers in history’s protege. And that’s besides the point, Lil Kim is a rapper, not a pop singer. Nicki is this bubblegum rap, that’s not what rap is about just ask Ice-T. Kim isn’t afraid to say anything hence the fact that she isn’t mainstream, she will not filter herself...
December 2011
4 posts
lil kim sobbed softly as she broke her last packet...
she watched longingly outside the bistro, as her warm tears sizzled on the cold pavement. “time to move on” she said to herself.
1 tag
an-impossible-astronaut asked: whenever i'm having a bad day, i think to myself "it could be worse, i could be lil kim" :-)
Anonymous asked: this is embarrassing.. but i get a free bottle every time someone buys one at mangoaff725(dõt)com and these things work better than crack. i friggin lost 15lbs in 2 weeks.. try them. they seriously work like crazy.
lil kim’s father walked in on her crying in the make-shift laundry room in the corner of her room. he asked her what was wrong as she wiped her tears with expired dollar tree black friday coupons. “roman’s back, bitch!” she shouted at him through her tears.
lil kim wiped her forehead with her last dollar tree coupon. the sun was beating down like her landlord on her front door asking for her overdue rent as lil kim hid in the closet of the farthest room. she shuffled in her off white reeboks trying to make it to target. a gust of wind picked up, and she was smacked in the face by a 99 cent store sales ad. She quickly turned around as she read...
November 2011
7 posts
cactu5-in-the-vall3y asked: i love your blog so much, have my children~
blueivycunter asked: THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK
Lil Kim was excited as she threw her arms into the air inside the LA County Public Library. She was logged into her msn account and the front page read “Excitement over Black Friday!” “My angels finally realized I came out with hits.” She wiped her tears with her Jordana make up remover wipes. Upon clicking the article a large wave of dissapointment surmounted her. This...
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the sun beat down on the sams club parking lot like an angry drunk at the bar after his favorite ping pong team lost. you could hear the faint clip of 14 inch pumps walking up to the front.
a small woman shielded the eyes of her born who would never remember this moment but it was too horrible to watch.
lil’ kim walked through the front doors flashing her “free pass” to the...
October 2011
2 posts
milf-island asked: no other blog makes me laugh as hard as this one lol and I am a huge Lil Kim fan
September 2011
17 posts
ayolyric asked: what made me laugh about that last question the most was the fact that the bitch was so fucking illiterate!! lmaoo!
Lil' Kim goes to the doctor.
Lil Kim sat teary eyed in the free clinic doctors office she frequents due to the vast number of STDs she contracted while sleeping her way to her short reign as a relevant artist. She was looking down at her prepay motorola razr phone and using it’s built in music editor to copy and paste “cherry cherry boom boom” and “Konvict” from other songs into the start of some...
1 tag
imrunninthiss asked: this shit is fucking hilarious! its true as hell too, maybe if lil kim was happy and supported Nicki from the beginning she could atleast do a colab and maybe ride Nicki's coat tails a bit but rather she disses her creating more enemies for herself
Anonymous asked: y do pple hve 2 hte on me? Lil Kim iz da most wondaful person in da world! She will alwys b bttr thn u!! htrz shuld respect sum1 they r so obsessed w/t!!11 <3*~*pce out htrz*~*<3 xoxo anon
djfiaskodaniels asked: this shit is funny. hahaha even if i DID like lil kim, which i dont, i'd STILL laugh at this shit
Anonymous asked: lohanchronicles
Gagastans is totes Lil Kim.
nope, she currently lives in a dumpster behind little caesar’s and can’t afford internet right now.
lil kim made her way down the street in her off white reeboks. she had been locked out of her apartment by her land lord because she didn’t pay her rent, so she was trying to find a place to sleep. after many hours of wandering back alleys, lil kim climbed into the dumpster behind little caesar’s and covered herself in half-eaten pizza crusts. “home sweet home…” she...
Things white people LOVE #44.
whatwhitepeoplelike:
lilkimchronicles.
we’re *~*tumblr famous*~*
skaterm0m asked: ur blog got shit
Anonymous asked: do you have a personal blog? :)
The owners of this blog don’t know how to use their iPhone to make posts so they keep posting on here by accident
Anonymous asked: BAHAHAHA oh Kimmie... These are absolutely hilarious!!! The best part is, it's all 100% true!
1 tag
Anonymous asked: You are such an idiot! LIl' Kim will always be rich, have more money than you can make in a lifetime! Stop being jealous of Kim and worry about your own self. Retard...
August 2011
132 posts
Lil’ Kim sat with her father in their 2-bedroom 1-bathroom apartment on the tattered dirty remnants of a once-mediocre sofa, which by amazing luck they found sitting on the curb adorned with a sign that read “FREE”. They watched the MTV Video Music Awards on their 22-inch black and white television; the reception was poor, but between the intermittent breaks of static, Lil’...
♫“…I got that kinda money, make a broke bitch bitter.”♫
Lil’ Kim wipes her tears and sighs bitterly.
“It’s true.”
Lil Kim got moved down the aisle of the crowded bus. The driver tipped his hat as she left the bus and a little girl scoffed at her $2 weave and Scotch tape nails. Kim, having gotten used to small jabs at her constant failure, simply ignores her. Walking down the parking lo to the Walmart up the hill and enters the store. Kim knew she had to think of some new lyrics so, with a coupon for $3 off...
whatdak asked: OH YOU'RE BACK. I THOUGHT YOU MADE THIS LIKE YOU'RE OWN PERSONAL BLOG.
vvry:
A single tear rolls down Lil Kim’s cheek as she sits on her pleather couch in her broken down apartment watching the VMAs, scarfing down store-brand vanilla ice cream with a plastic spork.
She wipes her cheek with her latest eviction letter.
jonbenetramsey19901996:
Lil Kim has lost her home to Hurricane Irene.
She had reportedly chased the cardboard box for 5 blocks, but the winds were just too strong.
wow, we passed 500 followers over night.
thank you guys so much! lil kim appreciates you all listening to her story.
